I am with sadness hearing this news but I cannot _be_ sad. As soon as my mind drifts to Ilmo it recenters on happiness. I simply have nothing but happy memories with him. He hosted me in SF a couple times and even advocated for me to work at Facebook (which as history attests, was not the path for me). We were contemporaries at Oxford and his presentation to the Nuffield Network seminars was dynamite and a true glimpse into his potential to both think and explain.

Others have said so much, illustrating just how broad his impact was. I will leave many of my memories between us, but they also live in Hayzell, who was there for many of them and was a warm, appreciative, and genuine friend and clearly a loving partner. I’m now in a relationship that I care for deeply and I recognised this pattern in Ilmo and Hayzell. I fear few things like the potential for needing to reconcile myself after the death of my spouse. I cannot understand how the family is managing but my sense is that Hayzell will continue to exemplify the sort of intellectual resilience and charm that made them such a delightful couple.

One time in Oxford, Ilmo and Hayzell invited me over to dinner. I almost felt awkward because they were so elaborate. I have never before or since had dessert sushi! (like Lychee on sweet sticky rice to look like nigiri). It was a wonderful inversion of normal food. Expertly done, sweet, and thoughtful. It made me think of food differently. It seems so mundane but my mind returns to it semi-regularly, it was just such a lovely coherent moment. But I shouldn’t feel a sense of awkwardness because I couldn’t come up with dessert sushi. I can only feel joy that they took the time to prepare this and seemed to enjoy the process more than the destination.

We cannot be with Ilmo anymore here. My opportunities (like everyone else’s) were tragically cut short. But I read so many memories of him that hum the same lovely tune that I feel we can still aspire to exemplify his spirit; humble, curious, charming, caring, and boundlessly creative.

With love and sincerity I leave this message for others.

Bernie Hogan