I was so shocked when I learned of Ilmo’s passing. We hadn’t seen each other in person for quite some time, but somehow, I was convinced our paths would cross again, whether here in the UK or overseas. I cannot believe its not to be.

I got to know Ilmo first of all through the Social psychology lab at the University of Oxford. We worked together on research and publications around emotion & emotion regulation. We tried to answer questions about emotions like “Should I strap a battery to my head” You might remember that Ilmo wrote a chapter in the book with this title that was a result of the Emotion Regulation in Others and Self (EROS) that we were both associated with.
At work Ilmo was also a vast source of information on so many different topics. I am still grateful for his introduction to R.
Outside of work he introduced me to his wife Hayzell, and when the time came, to their son Cal. They asked us (myself and Michael) to come to Cal’s baptism and we arrived with my sister and her family in tow! My niece and nephew even got to help at the baptism. Ilmo was such a dedicated and proud father, that shone through that day and many occasions thereafter. His love for his little family was obvious for all to see and was and is an inspiration.
I cannot imagine how you begin navigating this loss and I don’t think anything we learn about emotion and emotion regulation thoroughly prepare you for this.

Dear Hayzell & Cal, family and friends you are in my thoughts and I wish you strength in the coming time.
Gwen

Gwenda