I was lucky enough to get to know Ilmo and Hayzell in 2008/9 during our time together at Oxford.

My memories of Ilmo are of a wonderfully friendly, kind, genuine, funny, and intelligent man. His personal warmth, wit and kindness made becoming friends very easy!

Ilmo and Hayzell were very much in love – a perfect couple, with clear mutual affection and empathy.

I was really touched and saddened to hear of Ilmo’s passing. The world has lost a truly lovely man, and I can only imagine the gaping hole that has been ripped in Hayzell and Cal’s life.

I hope it is appropriate to share a small personal reflection. We are profoundly changed by those we love – not just by carrying their memories, but in shaping who we are as people. I know that by loving those who I have loved, I am a different person to who I would be otherwise; as such I feel I carry some part of those who I have loved with me, as if our essence – who we are as people – has somehow been entangled. In this way, I find comfort in thinking that some part of Ilmo lives on in Hayzell, in Cal, and in all who love and have been touched by him.

Martin Shotter